This is a phrase that I commonly hear from friends, colleagues, and patients during this time. People are having a difficult time motivating themselves to exercise, eat healthy, and continue to maintain a daily routine of any kind. The tasks themselves aren’t the challenge, I’ve learned.
Many people don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. “Every day is the same.” “There’s no end-in-sight to this pandemic.” “Why should I keep trying? There’s no point.” These feelings are legitimate. There is a lot of national and regional debate on when this quarantine ends, when we’ll return to some sense of normalcy, but none of us know. New guidelines come out daily, each one more strict than the last. Many experts have also suggested there will be a resurgence of the virus toward the end of 2020 and we will have to quarantine again. This situation is scary, and demotivating. The future seems arbitrary and staying in the present is difficult, but it is possible to get through this.
What can be done?
As a behavioral therapist, I automatically consider what actions should be taken to change our current situations, but aside from staying home and physically distancing, there’s not much most of us can do. Despite knowing this, I still feel compelled to dig into my Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills toolbox to help guide people through this.
Rather than trying to interpret the DBT skills literally, we should do our best to fit them into our current situation. DBT is broken down into four modules, one of them being “Distress Tolerance.” Often when I teach this module, I tell my clients that these are the skills to be used during a crisis.
When you’re in a crisis and there’s nothing you can do to prevent it, what can you do to get through the situation without making matters worse? DBT lists a whole bunch of helpful skills to get you through, but the one that stuck out to me the most in relation to the pandemic was “Contribute.”
How do I “contribute?”
There are many ways to interpret this skill. One way is through contributing to others in ways that are accessible to you. Many people have been inspired to give back to their communities. They’ve made masks, dropped off groceries to those who are high risk, and they’ve called friends and family members to keep them company.
What’s the point, you might be asking yourself. Maybe the point is to contribute, to show compassion for others – and yourself.
This is a good time to contribute to yourself and focus on your long-term goals. Maybe showering and getting dressed feels pointless today, but think of your long term goal of practicing self-care. This might help you give meaning to these actions.
As you consider the “contribute” skill, think of ways you can add to others’ lives, to the community, or, most importantly, to yourself. This is an undeniably difficult time, with so many obstacles getting in the way of growth, but remember that what you do still matters, and there are numerous benefits to helping yourself and others.
