The past few months have been full of constantly shifting social norms and regulations. When recommendations for social distancing first went into place in mid-March, there were mixed reactions and responses. Not everyone bought into the advice of the Center for Disease Control (CDC) and other health officials to do their part to “flatten the curve.”
Social distancing was a tough pill to swallow. In the US, our emphasis on individualistic values may have contributed to non-compliance. But most people came to understand guidelines around social distancing and face masks as necessary, practical measures to help manage the spread of the virus. One factor that may have contributed to this shift was that we started thinking not only about our own health, but also about protecting others, particularly those most vulnerable to getting seriously ill, such as our elderly or immunocompromised loved ones. But of course, there is a significant portion of Americans who value their individual choice to not wear a mask over all else.
Cultural Responses: Individualist vs. Collectivist
We see evidence of this self-focused thinking in the way COVID cases continue to rise, while other countries’ battles have been less drawn-out. In many of these countries, collectivistic cultural values are prioritized. Collectivist cultures emphasize the group and group interests over interests of individual members. Characteristics like self-sacrifice, dependability, generosity, and helping others are highly valued. In contrast, individualistic cultures favor individual interests over the group and emphasize independence and self-reliance.
While the individualistic values of the US are often a point of pride, during this reopening process, it is important to think not only about ourselves, but about our communities and those around us. As the Black Lives Matter movement continues to swell across the country, after months of talking about collective safety from a disease, we see more people actively addressing other ways our communities are not safe.
One challenge of encouraging social distancing in a country that prides itself on its individualism was that the reasoning behind social distancing is largely based in protecting others. In order to “flatten the curve” – and now to maintain it – the focus needed to shift from concerns focused on the self to considerations of the community. This ability to balance and consider perspectives of both oneself and others constitutes a core component of successful mentalization. Mentalizing is the ability to understand actions of oneself and others in terms of thoughts, feelings, wishes, and desires. All of this plays a significant role in our everyday interactions. With the risk of COVID-19 cases overwhelming the healthcare system, the ability to mentalize others became vital to saving lives. And yet people loudly railed against it the entire time.
Mentalization As Restrictions Lift
As the country begins to reopen, the same issues are resurfacing. Now, as we gradually begin the reopening process, many people are eager to return to the pre-COVID “normal” that we’ve missed. The weather is warm. The school year is over. People are returning to the office, or considering it. Some of us may be hopeful that a “normal” summer could be in our future. Unfortunately, it’s important to recognize that reopening, even if it means going back to the office, may not really mean going back to “normal.”
The virus has not disappeared, even if we are lifting restrictions. Social distancing recommendations remain in place. It is still important to wear face masks (a big ask when the summer heat is upon us). Restaurants and other establishments have new rules in place. The risk of getting or transmitting the novel coronavirus is still a major concern. Remember: the point of implementing social distancing measures was to “flatten the curve,” in order to limit the overwhelm to our healthcare system.
It is clear that some people are anxious to return to pre-pandemic “normal” and are ditching the masks and social distancing guidelines. What’s going on? In trying to mentalize this behavior, one might suggest that these folks have shifted back to a focus on the self and are potentially failing to consider the perspectives of others. Again, in a country that values and emphasizes personal agency and self-reliance, understanding unified behaviors like social distancing requires a shift from solely individual concerns (e.g., “I’m not worried about getting sick.”) to remembering broader needs of the community and society at large (i.e., hospitals having capacity to manage patients requiring hospitalization).
Mentalizing During Historical Moments
Individuals vary in their mentalizing abilities. Mentalizing can be a difficult task even under relatively low-stress situations. To do so in the midst of a global pandemic and political uprising, situations wrought with stress and anxiety, adds a thick layer of fog over any attempts at clear-mindedness. So how can we encourage this perspective during a time when everyone is vulnerable to non-mentalizing states?
First, we need to recognize if we are too emotionally escalated to mentalize. This recognition is also crucial for the other people you may be trying to communicate with (perhaps a family member with differing views) or people you see in media (like protestors or rioters, or violent police officers). Trying to have a mentalized conversation while the other party is emotionally “hot” or “cold” will not be productive, even if we ourselves are in a calm state of mind.
If we are in a “feelings equal facts” state of mind, we are not mentalizing. Bringing down our emotional temperature may be the first step before we can consider another perspective.
Mentalizing and Curiosity
Okay, then what? Then, we are in a position to begin to be curious, begin to wonder, and perhaps to ask about what might be motivating another person’s behavior. It’s easy to make assumptions, and particularly to discount or ignore evidence that doesn’t support our point of view. This is known as “confirmation bias.”
Curiosity allows us the opportunity to learn and to potentially take in new information and reconsider our own perspectives. Nowhere is this more prominent right now than the mass reckoning happening in terms of the newly widespread enthusiasm towards anti-racism. Many non-Black people are starting to mentalize around harm caused by past and current behaviors. This is, of course, only the first step in a lifelong process of unlearning subconscious racist beliefs– but that first step is indeed crucial.
Is it any wonder that protests see a higher percentage of people wearing (and sharing) PPE than your average citizen? Perhaps the required mentalizing needed to “flatten the curve” is the same mentalizing that made so many people finally understand what it means to say “Black Lives Matter.” When we can mentalize in one aspect of our lives, the ability to mentalize in other aspects of our lives is strengthened as well.
